Mobile Sans The Mobile

A couple of close friends would time and again berate me over my obsession with my mobile phone. Always in the palm of my hand, I had to answer calls immediately, even on holidays, even from unknown callers. Had to reply asap to each and every sms, which was never in brief.

Then, I happened to read this article in the Reader's Digest - June 08 issue. It quotes a saying by Edward Hallowell, MD, author of CrazyBusy “Technology is allowing us to do things we’ve never been able to do, and it’s positively incredible. The downsides are that it’s addictive and you can become tied to it in ways that are exhausting. It further goes on to list ‘8 Tips to Fight Info Overload’, the second tip states ‘TAKE BABY STEPS - Try being inaccessible for short spurts to see what happens. The world probably won’t implode’.

Well, if the article and my friends' advice did not change me, the Mumbai monsoons surely did. I was determined to continue with my daily routine of a 40 minutes walk, irrespective of rain, thunder or lightning. The solution was a full length raincoat and suitable footwear to brave the weather. But what about my mobile - no one has yet invented a 'waterproof suit for mobiles’. So how would I manage my walks without the risk of it getting drenched?

Well, at first I thought I would protect it in the shelter of the cute raincoat pockets, soon realising that water did seep in there. Neither did my jogging tracks have any pockets.

Well, im sure, if I racked my brains for a while longer, I would have come upon a perfect solution, but suddenly I thought to myself, why not just leave the mobile at home, instead of going to all this trouble. It's just 40 mins and though I consider myself quite an important person, im realistic enough to know that this earth would not stop spinning around its axis if I was not contactable for 40 mins.

So, that's what I did. I took the first baby step.

It was awkward on the first day, especially for the palm of my right hand. It felt empty without it's soul mate, so I introduced it to a new partner - my house keys. But apart from my palm feeling a pang of separation anxiety, I never really missed the mobile or missed out on anything. It was infact a great feeling. Being one with nature, taking brisk walks in the rain, jumping into little puddles, yes, I still do that. And knowing that no phone call or sms or alarm or reminder was going to interrupt me. I was completely to myself.
Well, I did always have a couple of missed calls awaiting me when I returned home, but nothing urgent or in the arena of a 'life or death' situation. I think the most important missed call I’ve gotten so far was from mom, informing me that a close friend was admitted in hospital. But that was it. Sad right, you think you are so important and so indispensable and so need to be accessible to the entire world at all times, and it’s your mobile that brings you back to ground reality.
I’m glad I marooned myself from my mobile, even just for a little time each day. Will continue doing so even after the monsoon season ends.

I actually felt more mobile and free, without the mobile.

Wanna know how it feels - well, you know what to do....

Frankness v/s Opinionated

I like people who are frank, who are always honest, speak the truth, tell you things the way they are. These people are very dependable and act like a true mirror. They don’t play games, twist the truth or sugar coat facts. It’s a quality I admire because it’s something I lack. Im the queen of sugar coating, always trying to soften the blow.

Often though, frankness gets mixed with being opinionated. There is a thin line between both actually. For example, calling a spade a spade is being frank. Telling a spade that you feel they are behaving like an axe is being opinionated. What you're saying if your opinion of that person, its not gospel truth. It's the way you see things.

People need to be frank all the time. People don’t need to be opinionated all the time. The ones doing it feel they are doing a favour to the ones at the receiving end by being 'frank' about their 'opinion' but that's not the case. They are actually just getting stuff off their own chest, something they need to do for their own mental health.

Telling someone (based on evidence, of course) that their better half is cheating on them and that they are better off without the cheat, that's being frank. It's helpful, it’s the truth and it's appreciated. Telling someone that their better half is a loser and behaves like a jerk and that they are better off without that person, well, that's being opinionated. It’s not required, not helpful and in most times, not appreciated.

You find people so quick to voice their opinions, without giving a thought to the feelings or the sentiments of the one being gifted the opinion. As if to say, these opinions are as valuable as the Ten Commandments carved on the tablets and given to Moses.

I think we all need to learn to be frank and at the same time, not cross the thin line to becoming opinionated.

When You Least Expect It

I had been contemplating a job change since the past one year. Had put up my resume on various job search portals, given it to quite a few consultants. Even went for a couple of interviews which for some reason did not turn out the way I hoped they would.
Then I stopped trying for some time and today, im few days away from joining my new office. And how did it happen - in the least expected way.
I had gone to lunch with a colleague, who received a call from a consultant. He was not interested, so passed on my details to her. Well, one thing lead to another and very soon, I had a new job on hand.
Amazing right. After trying for so long in so many ways, it finally worked out in the most unexpected way and on the most unexpected day.
Life does that very often, doesn't it. You keep trying very hard for something and then when you are least expecting it, when it’s the farthest thought on your mind - Bang - it just falls in your lap.
Some of the closest and best friendships I have made have also happened this way - in the least expected way, on the least expected day, with persons I least expected to be an acquaintance, leave alone close friends.

It's nice when life surprises you in such ways....

Does Your Desire Enslave You

Around a month back, i read this novel - Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. One of her best. Like a friend of mine said - it's a book which makes you think.

What i thought about, was the female protagonist, who has this peculiar philosophy in life. She does not want to find the perfect job, the perfect love, the perfect place. She fears that once she finds it, she will want it so much that it would own her, control her, dictate terms and conditions to her, make her lose her freedom.So the minute she finds a job or project she starts enjoying, she intentionally goofs up and loses it. The minute she finds herself getting attracted to someone to the extent that she starts fighting against the world for him, she goes and marries someone else. She runs away from every thing, person and place that threatens to own her, because of her desire for it. She only returns to it, if ever, when she is sure that the threat no longer exists. That it can no longer control her.Amazing right, or is it wierd or strange.

Well, the behaviour, maybe. But what about the philosophy behind it.Isn't it true that when we get attracted to something in life, we sometimes let it control us. Control the way we think, feel, act, take decisions. Be it a job, a person, an ideal or philosphy or even society for that matter. We give into our desire and lose our freedom. Well that does not turn out to be such a bad thing in the end, for many people. But is there someone who really values their freedom, individuality to the extent of giving up the love and desire of their life, just so that they dont get owned or dictated by it?

I dont think so.

And that's the reason, i feel, such a desire is at times taken away from us by the will of the almighty protagonist in our life. He knows what we don't. He knows that sometimes we want something so badly that it's owning us. Dictating to us. Enslaving our thoughts and actions. And since we don't have the strength to seperate ourselves from it, he does it for us. Leaving us wondering why that never worked out in our life, leaving us blaming God.

Well, if he feels, the threat no longer exists, he will return it to us. And if not, well, thank him for ending the slavery.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad Yadav....

... Hi, this is Rochelle D'Souza, one of your daily local train commuters.

I am quiet a patient, tolerant commuter, don’t get into unnecessary fights with others, but over the last few months that I’ve been travelling by the Mumbai locals, I have felt this need to educate my fellow passengers on a matter or two which would make travelling a tad easier for everyone.

• Jumping into the train to catch a seat - Well, you might say, they are exercising their constitutional right to get a seat, but at most times, it seems they are just sharpening their skills in hope that such jumps become the latest entry in the Olympics. I mean, take for instance, this lady who stands among the male passengers to get the first chance to soar into the ladies compartment - and for what - to alight after two stations - a mere distance of 8 kms. That too while suffering from a probable case of spondalitis or spine injury, from the look of the belts she wears on her. Or that college student who attempts this jump daily just to get the vantage spot on the footboard at the other end. Or during the sparsely crowded days of the holiday season. When any kid could predict that the seats available in the train are more than the passengers waiting to occupy them. We have all learned that the early bid catches the worm, but hey, there are enough worms for all the birds, so relax. I mean we're not entering a theatre or cinema hall where we need to reach early to get the balcony seats. All due respect to the Indian railways, but the surrounding scenery is not worth breaking your back over.
• First class or Second class - First and foremost, it does not depend on which class you can afford to travel in but more on your command on the language used by the travellers. You need to survive till your destination comes and survival sometimes depends purely on the gift of your gab. So if carrying on a ten minute breathless argument in Hindi interspersed with some of the latest foul words, is not up your alley, babes, you belong to the first class compartment. Next, check the baggage you are carrying. Physical I mean, totally not concerned about the emotional baggage you carry. If your company can afford to gift you a laptop, then they can definitely afford your first class travel. Don’t push that thing into those second class travellers, it does not interest or impress them in the least. They'd prefer the fisherwoman with her smelly basket over you and your wares. And if you look like a 3-ring circus with a briefcase plus laptop plus handbag, then you need to be introduced to one of the most interesting places - the luggage compartment. Get comfy there.
• The fourth seat - Oh my, the eternal debate continues on whether occupying a fourth seat is allowed in the first class or in the second class. See my dear friends; this too does not depend on the class of the compartment but on the size of the people occupying the other three seats. I mean, if the other three passengers represent the healthier portion of our country's population, there's not much option (or space as in this case) left for you in either of the compartments. I mean its not that the people expand in the first class or shrink in the second class, thus leaving or not leaving space for you on the fourth seat. So concentrate, not on the class, but on the mass, and especially focus on the lower half of the body. They could be looking like scavengers from their faces, but their Shakira hips are the ones sitting in your space.
• The seated over the standees - Dear seated one, please understand, you are just temporarily occupying that seat, you have not bought it or taken a hundred year lease on it. Neither were you born with that seat as a part of your rear end, so don’t throw that attitude of having an upper hand over the ones standing. They are the ones standing tall; they are the ones who have to look down on you, not the other way around. And excuse them for stepping on your pedicured toes or your white silk churidhar or bumping into your precious newspaper or smashing their bag into your face. They are totally apologetic for getting in the way of your comfort and luxury. I mean it’s totally their fault that you did not realise this morning that you're travelling by the 8.00 am local train and not the 8.00 am Kingfisher flight. They would also like to apologise in advance for the discomfort you're going to face in the coming monsoons.

So, Mr. Railway Minister, these comprise few of the behaviours that really irritates tolerant passengers like me. I mean, we don’t mind turning a deaf ear to the kid trying to turn his mobile chat into a live radio session. We don’t even mind lending our shoulders to the sleeping head which has lost all contact with the remaining body. And we are most appreciative of the budding singers of our country who have helped change the concept of 'bathroom singers' to 'train croakers'.
But there's a limit to everything. So if you don’t mind, take some time off, formulate a policy or two on the points i have just mentioned, try reducing our grievances a bit.

I mean, we so love travelling daily like a tin of sardines, we dont want these petty issues to dilute our joy.