The Journey v/s The Destination

For the past couple of months, I’m being complimented about the tons of weight I have lost. Each time I meet someone who does not see me on a regular basis, I am bestowed a compliment. So a colleague of mine was digging into a yummy blue berry muffin the other day at work and asked me to join in. I refused, for reason of being on a diet. She remarked ‘You’ve been on some diet or the other for the last three years now, when will you achieve your goal? When will you enjoy your success?’
That made me think – I have never sat back and enjoyed the success of losing all this weight. I have never rejoiced over the triumph. Immediately after losing the weight, I get immersed in the strategy of not putting it on again, maintaining the diet, maintaining the exercise – so on and so forth – it’s always a journey, never a destination.

I was an average student at school till my brother challenged me to beat him in the SSC marks he scored – which I did – and then I discovered I was gifted with intelligence!! Wow – what a revelation. There was no looking back then. Got into a great college – got a decent job, changed a couple of jobs after that. I’ve done much better in my career than I ever hoped I would, over achieved most of the goals I never even set.
But now when I look back – all I remember is the struggle, the effort put in each journey, never the excitement on reaching the destination. I’m not saying I never enjoyed each goal I achieved, but the moments spent in smoking the victory cigar were miniscule when compared to those spent in winning the battle.

So what stops me from taking time to enjoy one venture before I plunge into the next? Well, I guess victory is boring – a shocking thought, but that’s the only reason I can come up with. Maslow, in his theory on ‘Hierarchy of Needs’, sums it up well when he says – “An unachieved goal is a motivator”. I guess that’s what works for me. The pursuit of happiness is much more motivating than the happiness itself.

I did have this experience of basking in the glory of success, of reaching a destination and it was a pretty scary experience. It was over a month back and life had just become perfect for me, in all aspects. It was one of those very few times (emphasize very!!) when I felt life had given me everything and there was nothing more I wanted. I was driving to the airport (with freshly manicured nails on the wheel, may I add) when I suddenly started thinking of this scene in the latter half of the movie ‘City of Angels’. Meg Ryan is riding her bicycle, feeling extremely happy and content with her perfect life. At that moment, when she wants for nothing more from this world, she meets with an accident and is taken away to the angels.
The entire time, I was driving to the airport that day; I kept thinking whether the same thing would happen to me on the road that day. My hands were clutching the wheel very tight while I kept wondering whether what I was feeling was the overwhelming peace of reaching a destination, of wanting no more, which one feels at the end of the line.

Ok, I think I’ve scared you enough. Rest assured, I reached the airport in one piece, I moved on to other journeys, I have many more things I want in life and I never felt like that again. And in my defense, when I spoke about this to Smita the next day (since I was too scared to tell anyone else), she told me she had experienced the same thing at some point in her life. So Mum – please don’t go berserk and sell off my car!!!


All I’m trying to say is that when my final journey is over and I reach my ultimate destination, I hope to enjoy the same peace, the same feeling of not having any more wants. Then I can sit with the angels and smoke that victory cigar forever.